Post by Portland TrailBlazers on Apr 14, 2017 5:55:19 GMT -6
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome! I'll be your master of ceremonies tonight for the Inaugural Basketball Guru Golden Raspberry Awards! What are the Golden Raspberry Awards, you ask? Well, The Razzies, as they're more commonly known, are a particularly distinguished set of accolades which we award to only the best of the worst this past season (and maybe a tad further) had to offer.
We've got a few lovely categories to get through, so without further ado, let's roll!
We've got a few lovely categories to get through, so without further ado, let's roll!
We begin with your nominees for...
Contract of the Year - Ryan Anderson - $7,000,000/yr over 4 years - Philadelphia 76ers
- Bogdan Bogdanovic - $4,000,000/yr over 4 years - Charlotte Hornets
- Al Jefferson - $4,500,000/yr over 4 years - San Antonio Spurs
- Norman Powell - $8,500,000/yr over 4 years - Toronto Raptors
- Chandler Parsons - $7,500,000/yr over 4 years - Sacramento Kings
And the winner is...
Ryan Anderson with a hefty $7M/yr salary from the Philadelphia 76ers!
Ryan was coming off a somewhat decent season in New Orleans averaging a tidy 27 fantasy points per game. That production is roughly equivalent to what he was signed for according to the re-sign calculator. It's reasonable that one would think the D'antoni offense would increase his production even further. As we've seen with the recent amnesty on Ryan...that wasn't the case. Anderson's FPPG dipped to nearly 21 a game and was wildly inconsistent all season. Congratulations to the 76ers on a contract well done!
Next up are the nominees for...
Executive of the Year - Charlotte Hornets
- Boston Celtics
- Milwaukee Bucks
- Los Angeles Clippers
- Portland Trail Blazers
And the winner is...
The Los Angeles Clippers!
This is more of a co-EOTY rather than a single award due to the sheer mischief the Clippers somehow got into this past season. The first GM of the Clips had executed some relatively imbalanced trades to acquire Eric Bledsoe and Tobias Harris from the Bulls to complement their already stacked lineup of LeBron, CP3, and Blake Griffin. Has a decent first season but doesn't get to the finals. That's all well and good. Next thing we know the guy gets booted for colluding with the Kings! Well, the next Clips GM takes over for the rest of this second season and is pretty much ghost protocol the whole time! The team performs relatively well with the laissez faire management style but again fails to make any significant noise in the playoffs. You'd think a team this loaded with superstars would be lethal. Apparently not. Congrats to the former Clippers management!
Onto the nominees for...
Rookie of the Year
Dragan Bender from the Portland Trail Blazers!
Onto the nominees for...
Rookie of the Year - Brandon Ingram
- Kris Dunn
- Dragan Bender
- Ben Simmons
- Jakob Poeltl
And the winner is...
Dragan Bender from the Portland Trail Blazers!
Come on, man! You were drafted with the 4th overall pick in our draft! The least you could do is average at least 5 points a game! No? Not even that? Ughhhh... Bender was projected as a project going into the draft and he's still certainly a project at the end of this season. He's averaged 3.4/1.9/0.5 as of Wednesday's season closer and that's certainly not what you'd reasonably expect from a top 5 lottery selection. On the plus side Bender's still incredibly young (youngest in the class by over two months!) and has plenty of room for growth. It's too soon to say he's a bust, but he's certainly trending in that direction. All the same, congratulations to Dragan!
Second to last are the nominees for...
Player of the Year
And the winner is...
Chandler Parsons from the Sacramento Kings!
Player of the Year - Chandler Parsons
- Monta Ellis
- Mario Hezonja
- Emmanuel Mudiay
- Al Jefferson
And the winner is...
Chandler Parsons from the Sacramento Kings!
Does this really need any explanation? Alright, fine. Chandler Parsons stole $30M from the Kings in our Guru league and $94M from the NBA's Grizzlies. The dude played in only 34 games in which he averaged a measly 6.2/2.5reb/1.6ast. How abysmal is that? Hopefully, for the Kings' and the Grizzlies' sake, Parsons returns to his 16ppg scoring days next season after getting over his injury woes. Our ever optimistic Kings must be thinking, "But why male models?" The answer is because you can be the beneficiary of the Razzies Player of the Year award! Congrats!
a stew an imbalanced trade going! This trade is probably the single catalyst that setup the Lakers to claim the championship later in the next season. All's well that ends well I suppose. Congratulations to the Bucks (and Lakers)!
Finally, we've got the nominees for the much anticipated...
Trade of the Year
Trade of the Year 
The LAL-MIL Turner Trade!
Oh boy. This trade was hugely controversial when it went down and it's still looked back upon with somewhat intense vitriol. For good reason! Myles Turner was breaking out at the time and was beasting and feasting on the competition. The dude dropped a 31 point bomb in only his 21st game (not bad for someone overlooked in the NBA Draft) and had some absolutely sublime blocking performances to boot too. Throw in a #8 pick for an obviously declining Greg Monroe + Steven Adams and baby you've got Well that's it for this year's Guru Golden Raspberry Awards! Hope you all enjoyed the writeup and thanks for reading!
