Post by Phoenix Suns on Jun 25, 2019 18:12:50 GMT -6
2019 Guru Draft Review
Updated: Now includes picks #1 to #15
I just want to preface this with the following: your team is bad, and you should feel bad.
Okay, let's get this started!
1. Zion Williamson (Raptors)
Athleticism
A potted plant in a coma could have made this pick, but hey, congrats to the Raptors on their ability to not die in a zamboni accident before successfully making the pick.
Zion is the surest thing since Eric's sister on That 70s Show, and he will be a stud.
Now it's just a matter of whether or not he can develop a shot and stay healthy while being a dangerous 285 pounds while only 6'6.
Not going to spend too much time on this one, as the pick had more consensus than the Ashe Conformity experiment.
A+
2. Ja Morant (Mavs)
Athleticism
The consensus #2, his combination of athleticism and BBIQ (as opposed to Mavs combination of arthritis and BBQ) make him a tantalizing prospect.
His situation is ideal, with Mike Conley gone and paired up with JJJ and Clarke.
Similar to Zion, the biggest question marks here are outside shooting and size. But where Zion sports too much weight, Ja is thinner than his first name, and seems destined to hook up with Kate Moss.
Who needs 7nm chips when Intel can use Ja Morant?
Can you play 4D Chess with a 2D player? Nevertheless, a great talent and one of the few sure things in what's considered a weak draft.
A
3. RJ Barrett (Mavs)
Scoring Good Stats, Bad Team Mascot
The guy who thinks he's better than Zion Williamson playing hero ball, costing his team games, and shooting 30% from 3 over 237 attempts and 66% from the line, is the classic good stats, bad team torchbearer.
With all the physical tools for the NBA and the talent to match, Barrett is poised for a Tyreke Evans ROTY campaign, and a similar career trajectory.
As The Ringer put it, "he didn't really contribute to winning." Yikes.
Keep in mind, Mavs traded 4 FIRSTS for this guy. Four!!!
A selfish, inefficient ballhog under the brightest lights playing for the most dysfunctional organization in the league.
Perhaps the most incredible thing about this pick is Mavs consistent ability to draft busts, following proudly in the footsteps of Jahlil Okafor, Markelle Fultz, and many, many others.
Haven't seen anyone overpay for such a big bust since Anna Nicole Smith.
F
4. Jarrett Culver (Bucks)
All-around game
Culver is a strong choice and the first departure from the NBA draft. A winning player with a great two-way game, Culver is a high-floor, high-ceiling player and exactly what the Bucks needs to rebuild his franchise.
P.S.: Did you know that Bucks is a doctor?
He only reminds us every four hours.
My main concern with Culver is that his first name is Jarrett. That is a very bad name, and I don't know anyone named Jarrett who has ever been good at anything. It's almost as bad as Aiden.
Other than that, Mr. Culver has a high IQ, great playmaking skills, the size to guard multiple positions, and the character and work ethic to turn into a star.
A-
The minus is for being named Jarrett.
5. Darius Garland (Bulls)
Perimeter Scoring Big Dick Energy
Darius is a fantastic name. He sounds like a badass Dark Knight that joins your Final Fantasy party. Good start.
Drafted to the... Cleveland Cavaliers.
If Garland's comp is Jeff Teague, the Cavs comp is Patrick fucking Bateman. If that team tries to draft you... run.
The Cavs drafted back-to-back undersized Point Guards. Fun! What a shithole franchise. They'll probably ruin his development and poison the locker room with two identical guards who play the same position, but hey, Kyrie did make it out of there in one piece, and his relationship with teammates has never been better.
Garland showed off some great scoring and playmaking ability at Vanderbilt, but that's based on some very bad sample sizes.
He played in four lightly game planned non-conference games
against mostly overmatched opponents. If someone told you they found a cure for your disease, and they'd tested it on 4 rabbits and it turned out well, you're probably not letting that needle go into your arm.
This is an Evan Fournier-level small sample size alert.
(Shoutouts to Nuggets on wasting a re-sign on Evan Fournier, then TRADING BACK for him and giving up a nice contract in VanVleet for him. Idiot.)
Jayson Tatum died for this?
I like Garland and Bulls drafted for talent, which I respect, but this has to be the worst situation of all the Top 5 picks, and it's hard to ignore a franchise with such a bad track record on top of that. I'm not sure Sexton and Garland can co-exist. Hopefully talent wins out.
B-
6. Coby White (Celtics)
Scoring White Kobe
Of course Celtics took the White Kobe. Really nice fit in Chicago, and might be a slightly better talent than Garland, making this arguably the first steal of the draft, albeit a small one.
White is a blur in transition, and it's hard not to think of De'Aaron Fox when he's on the move.
He has both shooting ability and size -- he's big like Klay and shoots like Steph. And that's before he even steps onto the court. When playing basketball, he has great ability to put the basket into the hoop from distance and his height/weight is terrific.
Extremely athletic, an excellent playmaker, and a superb situation. Haven't seen a pick this good from the Celtics since Len Bias.
A+
7. DeAndre Hunter (Bulls)
Defensive versatility
The only good 21/22 year old picks in the lotto were Hunter and Clarke.
Hunter is considered a safe pick with a high floor, and the Hawks will use him and Huerter in tandem as the biggest wing combo outside of Charles Barkley's dinner plate.
3-and-D prospects who are 21 and playing with high usage offensive studs are a weak point in a counting stats league, and I really don't love this pick for a rebuilding team like the Bulls, who should be going for more high risk/high reward prospects.
Like a LIVE FREE OR DIE libertarian pin, this pick belongs on someone like the Mavs.
Sekou Doumbouya belongs on the Bulls, and instead somehow the friccin' Pelicans grabbed him quicker than Donald Trump at a swimsuit contest.
Still, he's a good player who will be able to stay on the floor, and could continue developing offensively.
C
8. Cam Reddish (Bulls)
Scoring upside
Easily the best pick available at #8, Reddish is an offensive star with a gorgeous 3-point shot entering a Hawks franchise with a really elite front office with a strong vision. I trust their picks, and Bulls was wise in gobbling them up.
He was inside the Top 8 on almost every draft board in the country, making him an analyst favorite. Could make an argument he should have gone sooner, giving Reddish the opportunity to be a steal in this draft.
He has a ton of potential, much of it left untapped at Duke, and he's in a great situation, which is the perfect pick for the Guru Bulls.
I love this pick almost as much asLittlefinger Mavs loves proclaiming the end times in #General every time I make a trade.
Reddish is has one of the best upsides in this draft, and Bulls nailed it.
A+
9. Brandon Clarke (Bulls)
Defensive Versatility
This guy was between #3 to #7 on half the draft boards out there, so getting him here is very nice.
He was considered a draft steal in the NBA, but he went 21st in the NBA. Is it a steal if you take him 9th?
He's an extremely versatile defender who should pair well with JJJ and will get some run (I'm guessing the Grizzlies aren't penciling JV into their long-term plans given they drafted two bigs back-to-back) on a rebuilding team, so the opportunities should be there to develop and shine.
He fits well offensively with JJJ, too, and can score efficiently in the paint.
My two biggest gripes are his age (22.6), making him the oldest player in the draft outside of Cameron Johnson. He's the same age as Devin Booker, Jamal Murray, Domantas Sabonis, etc. and that he went so late in the draft.
Again, this is a very good pick, but if you're the Bulls and canvassing the entire draft, shouldn't you be going for the players with the most upside? Hunter and Clarke are two of the oldest players in the draft and two of the safest picks.
Why the fuck is Sekou Dembouya not on your team?
The more I think about it, the more it annoys me.
If you take 23 year old Cameron Johnson I'm retroactively changing all your draft grades to Z.
Bulls chooses his rookies like he chooses his wines -- the older the better. I bet if we check his search history, it's nothing but MILF porn. When he sees a grape, he thinks to himself, "man, that's gonna make a great raisin."
How Bulls delivers his Rookie pick selections:
/rant
Okay, I'm done harping on Bulls affinity for players who were good friends with James Naismith and were for the impeachment ofBill Clinton Richard Nixon Andrew Johnson.
At the end of the day, Clarke plays winning basketball, is in a great situation, has a soft touch, and works hard. I just think you could have taken Sekou here, and still grabbed Clarke or Hayes at #12.
B-
10. Rui Hachimura (Sixers)
Offensive Versatility Cool Samurai Name
Fun fact: All Ninja are Samurai, but not all Samurai are Ninja. Thanks, Naruto!
This pick is ahead of his analyst ranking, but one pick behind our NBA counterparts. Of course, that counterpart is the Washington Wizards, a team that employs a psychic with a Ouija board as a GM, so that is definitely a concern for me.
Where would Hachimura have gone had the Wizardz and Sunz front office not had a pick in the draft? Would he have fallen like Clarke did?
The best thing about this pick is that Rui will have a good chance to get serious minutes early on and become a starter -- the Wizards are a dumpster fire, and they'll want to develop their rookies (Troy Brown Jr., Rui Hachimura, Thomas Bryant). I expect those three guys to do very well in fantasy over the next few seasons as the Wiz are in cap hell.
He's got fabulous physical tools to excel in the NBA and has improved every season, and his work ethic should hopefully continue that trend. He has the potential to be a mismatch nightmare, but as The Ringer notes, "Hachimura is a bit of a project for a lottery pick [...] and reads the floor on defense at Windows 98 speeds" and graded the pick a D. Others gave it an A. Even among front offices, he was a polarizing pick.
The upside is there, and the consistent furtherance of his skills (he started basketball at 14) year-over-year makes this a palatable risk/reward selection for me.
If there ever was a roaring endorsement, look to NBC, who boldly proclaimed that "he is one of the few prospects that Washington probably couldn't ruin."
Kangz! Wizardz!
B
11. Sekou Dembouya (Pelicans)
Untapped Athleticism
One of the most exciting, high-upside prospects somehow fell to the team with the best core in the league that's reached half the league's finals ever...
How does this even happen?
This is the type of rookie that rebuilding teams should be gobbling up, not letting fall to the guy who just reached the finals. Outstanding physical tools, a Pascal Siakam-comp, a quick first step, multi-positional defender potential, THICC frame, rebounds well, and is only 18.3 years old.
The last eurotrash youngster Pels scooped up was Jokic, and as the only Guru GM who actually lives in Europe, this makes me nervous.
Thankfully, there are some negatives. Questions about his maturity, poor handles, bad shooting mechanics, poor defensive fundamentals, and an inconsistent motor.
As New Orleans put it, he's a high risk, high reward pick. And he should be on someone else's team payroll. Like Drake.
A-
12. Jaxson Hayes (Bulls)
Rim Protection
Ah, the 2019 Guru Draft Review, or as it is better known, How The Suns Feel About The Bulls Picks.
Great pick at #12, and the fact he was #9 on most boards and went #8 in the NBA makes this a fantastic selection.
Hayes is an 7-foot center and while the spacing will be awkward with Zion in the frontcourt, they'll be the fastest and most athletic duo in the NBA, terrorizing teams in transition and on defense.
The situation is good, the pick is great, and the leaguewide consensus on Hayes makes this, pound-for-pound, the best selection at this spot.
Jaxson oozes upside, and if Bulls had nabbed Reddish/Hayes/Doumbouya instead of Reddish/Hayes/Clarke, he'd have completely crushed the draft in my mind.
As a noted philosopher and poet once put it:
"Two out of three ain't bad."
-Meatloaf
Truly the voice of a generation.
Jaxson Hayes is going to be a beast, and I love this pick more than Blazers loves binge-watching TV:
Great selection by the Bulls.
A+
13. Nickeil Alexander-Walker Augustus Octavian Caesar III, Esq. (Bucks)
Playmaking Third of his Name, The Unposterized, King of the Andals and the First Men, Breaker of Ankles, Protector of the Realm, Father of Daggers
This guy's name is longer than a CVS bill for a pack of gum.
Most boards had NAW in the 20s, and he went #17 in the NBA. He was drafted for shooting, as an ancillary piece to Zion, Jrue, Hayes, Lonzo, and Ingram.
You drafted PJ Tucker instead of PJ Washington.
This is a reach, and not only that, you reached for a boring, safe prospect with limited opportunity and upside whose job is going to be to sit in the corner and keep defenses honest, and shoot the occasional 3.
It's not a bad pick, but it's not a good one. For a team that desperately needs to be taking chances on high upside prospects, you fell into the same trap as Bulls on a few picks. If you have another pick in this draft I expect you'll take a 22 year old, 5-year senior with no upside.
Congrats on taking the safety school of draft picks, Alexander-Walker is the fucking Texas A&M of this class.
Dogshit.
D
14. PJ Washington (Bulls)
Scoring
Washington torches defenses like Denzel in Man on Fire, and shot a blistering 42% from 3 in college. Featuring a strong body, good passing and vision, and an ability to get buckets, this guy check a lot of boxes.
We're at the point in the draft, however, where you're taking players with more and more flaws. A lack of effort on defense, no first step, and playing below the rim present some downside.
Nevertheless, the Hornets should present some opportunities for serious playtime, especially if Kemba leaves. This was, in my estimation, the best pick left up on the board, and probably the last player I'd be comfortable picking besides Goga, so it's a smart selection.
He went 12th in the NBA and projected around 14th, so this is a nice spot to grab him. Combine that with a fantasy-friendly game and a good situation, and you've got yourself a hit.
Other things that guarantee a hit: Any song featuring DJ Khalid, backtalking Chris Brown.
B+
15. Goga Bitadze (Nuggets)
Two-way upside
I knew this fucker was going to snipe me at #15 when I had the #16 pick, and am incredibly happy I traded away the pick to him.
Goga was the last player on the board I would have been comfortable rostering. A lot of analysts had him 9th or 11th overall, and this is a steal.
There's no reason why Sekou or Goga should have fallen to these GMs.
On the surface, this situation looks bad, with a clogged rotation of young, talented bigs in Myles Turner, Domantas Sabonis, and Goga Bitadze, but
I expect the Pacers to sort the situation out sooner rather than later, and Goga is too talented to be contained.
He's a 6"11 bulldozer who can score on the inside, block shots, attack off the dribble, has a soft touch, great vision, is the best screener in the class,
and is a plus team defender with a high IQ.
The situation is butt, he has the lateral quickness of Kim Kardashian in a leather bodysuit. If he switches onto a guard in the Pick n' Roll, he'll look
like Nappa at the start of Dragonball Z.
Regardless, to get this much upside this late is excellent, and it hurts all the more that it goes to my archnemesis.
Damn you.
A
Updated: Now includes picks #1 to #15
I just want to preface this with the following: your team is bad, and you should feel bad.
Okay, let's get this started!
1. Zion Williamson (Raptors)
Athleticism
A potted plant in a coma could have made this pick, but hey, congrats to the Raptors on their ability to not die in a zamboni accident before successfully making the pick.
Zion is the surest thing since Eric's sister on That 70s Show, and he will be a stud.
Now it's just a matter of whether or not he can develop a shot and stay healthy while being a dangerous 285 pounds while only 6'6.
Not going to spend too much time on this one, as the pick had more consensus than the Ashe Conformity experiment.
A+
2. Ja Morant (Mavs)
Athleticism
The consensus #2, his combination of athleticism and BBIQ (as opposed to Mavs combination of arthritis and BBQ) make him a tantalizing prospect.
His situation is ideal, with Mike Conley gone and paired up with JJJ and Clarke.
Similar to Zion, the biggest question marks here are outside shooting and size. But where Zion sports too much weight, Ja is thinner than his first name, and seems destined to hook up with Kate Moss.
Who needs 7nm chips when Intel can use Ja Morant?
Can you play 4D Chess with a 2D player? Nevertheless, a great talent and one of the few sure things in what's considered a weak draft.
A
3. RJ Barrett (Mavs)
The guy who thinks he's better than Zion Williamson playing hero ball, costing his team games, and shooting 30% from 3 over 237 attempts and 66% from the line, is the classic good stats, bad team torchbearer.
With all the physical tools for the NBA and the talent to match, Barrett is poised for a Tyreke Evans ROTY campaign, and a similar career trajectory.
As The Ringer put it, "he didn't really contribute to winning." Yikes.
Keep in mind, Mavs traded 4 FIRSTS for this guy. Four!!!
A selfish, inefficient ballhog under the brightest lights playing for the most dysfunctional organization in the league.
Perhaps the most incredible thing about this pick is Mavs consistent ability to draft busts, following proudly in the footsteps of Jahlil Okafor, Markelle Fultz, and many, many others.
Haven't seen anyone overpay for such a big bust since Anna Nicole Smith.
F
4. Jarrett Culver (Bucks)
All-around game
Culver is a strong choice and the first departure from the NBA draft. A winning player with a great two-way game, Culver is a high-floor, high-ceiling player and exactly what the Bucks needs to rebuild his franchise.
P.S.: Did you know that Bucks is a doctor?
He only reminds us every four hours.
My main concern with Culver is that his first name is Jarrett. That is a very bad name, and I don't know anyone named Jarrett who has ever been good at anything. It's almost as bad as Aiden.
Other than that, Mr. Culver has a high IQ, great playmaking skills, the size to guard multiple positions, and the character and work ethic to turn into a star.
A-
The minus is for being named Jarrett.
5. Darius Garland (Bulls)
Darius is a fantastic name. He sounds like a badass Dark Knight that joins your Final Fantasy party. Good start.
Drafted to the... Cleveland Cavaliers.
If Garland's comp is Jeff Teague, the Cavs comp is Patrick fucking Bateman. If that team tries to draft you... run.
The Cavs drafted back-to-back undersized Point Guards. Fun! What a shithole franchise. They'll probably ruin his development and poison the locker room with two identical guards who play the same position, but hey, Kyrie did make it out of there in one piece, and his relationship with teammates has never been better.
Garland showed off some great scoring and playmaking ability at Vanderbilt, but that's based on some very bad sample sizes.
He played in four lightly game planned non-conference games
against mostly overmatched opponents. If someone told you they found a cure for your disease, and they'd tested it on 4 rabbits and it turned out well, you're probably not letting that needle go into your arm.
This is an Evan Fournier-level small sample size alert.
(Shoutouts to Nuggets on wasting a re-sign on Evan Fournier, then TRADING BACK for him and giving up a nice contract in VanVleet for him. Idiot.)
Jayson Tatum died for this?
I like Garland and Bulls drafted for talent, which I respect, but this has to be the worst situation of all the Top 5 picks, and it's hard to ignore a franchise with such a bad track record on top of that. I'm not sure Sexton and Garland can co-exist. Hopefully talent wins out.
B-
6. Coby White (Celtics)
Of course Celtics took the White Kobe. Really nice fit in Chicago, and might be a slightly better talent than Garland, making this arguably the first steal of the draft, albeit a small one.
White is a blur in transition, and it's hard not to think of De'Aaron Fox when he's on the move.
He has both shooting ability and size -- he's big like Klay and shoots like Steph. And that's before he even steps onto the court. When playing basketball, he has great ability to put the basket into the hoop from distance and his height/weight is terrific.
Extremely athletic, an excellent playmaker, and a superb situation. Haven't seen a pick this good from the Celtics since Len Bias.
A+
7. DeAndre Hunter (Bulls)
Defensive versatility
The only good 21/22 year old picks in the lotto were Hunter and Clarke.
Hunter is considered a safe pick with a high floor, and the Hawks will use him and Huerter in tandem as the biggest wing combo outside of Charles Barkley's dinner plate.
3-and-D prospects who are 21 and playing with high usage offensive studs are a weak point in a counting stats league, and I really don't love this pick for a rebuilding team like the Bulls, who should be going for more high risk/high reward prospects.
Like a LIVE FREE OR DIE libertarian pin, this pick belongs on someone like the Mavs.
Sekou Doumbouya belongs on the Bulls, and instead somehow the friccin' Pelicans grabbed him quicker than Donald Trump at a swimsuit contest.
Still, he's a good player who will be able to stay on the floor, and could continue developing offensively.
C
8. Cam Reddish (Bulls)
Scoring upside
Easily the best pick available at #8, Reddish is an offensive star with a gorgeous 3-point shot entering a Hawks franchise with a really elite front office with a strong vision. I trust their picks, and Bulls was wise in gobbling them up.
He was inside the Top 8 on almost every draft board in the country, making him an analyst favorite. Could make an argument he should have gone sooner, giving Reddish the opportunity to be a steal in this draft.
He has a ton of potential, much of it left untapped at Duke, and he's in a great situation, which is the perfect pick for the Guru Bulls.
I love this pick almost as much as
Reddish is has one of the best upsides in this draft, and Bulls nailed it.
A+
9. Brandon Clarke (Bulls)
Defensive Versatility
This guy was between #3 to #7 on half the draft boards out there, so getting him here is very nice.
He was considered a draft steal in the NBA, but he went 21st in the NBA. Is it a steal if you take him 9th?
He's an extremely versatile defender who should pair well with JJJ and will get some run (I'm guessing the Grizzlies aren't penciling JV into their long-term plans given they drafted two bigs back-to-back) on a rebuilding team, so the opportunities should be there to develop and shine.
He fits well offensively with JJJ, too, and can score efficiently in the paint.
My two biggest gripes are his age (22.6), making him the oldest player in the draft outside of Cameron Johnson. He's the same age as Devin Booker, Jamal Murray, Domantas Sabonis, etc. and that he went so late in the draft.
Again, this is a very good pick, but if you're the Bulls and canvassing the entire draft, shouldn't you be going for the players with the most upside? Hunter and Clarke are two of the oldest players in the draft and two of the safest picks.
Why the fuck is Sekou Dembouya not on your team?
The more I think about it, the more it annoys me.
If you take 23 year old Cameron Johnson I'm retroactively changing all your draft grades to Z.
Bulls chooses his rookies like he chooses his wines -- the older the better. I bet if we check his search history, it's nothing but MILF porn. When he sees a grape, he thinks to himself, "man, that's gonna make a great raisin."
How Bulls delivers his Rookie pick selections:
/rant
Okay, I'm done harping on Bulls affinity for players who were good friends with James Naismith and were for the impeachment of
At the end of the day, Clarke plays winning basketball, is in a great situation, has a soft touch, and works hard. I just think you could have taken Sekou here, and still grabbed Clarke or Hayes at #12.
B-
10. Rui Hachimura (Sixers)
Fun fact: All Ninja are Samurai, but not all Samurai are Ninja. Thanks, Naruto!
This pick is ahead of his analyst ranking, but one pick behind our NBA counterparts. Of course, that counterpart is the Washington Wizards, a team that employs a psychic with a Ouija board as a GM, so that is definitely a concern for me.
Where would Hachimura have gone had the Wizardz and Sunz front office not had a pick in the draft? Would he have fallen like Clarke did?
The best thing about this pick is that Rui will have a good chance to get serious minutes early on and become a starter -- the Wizards are a dumpster fire, and they'll want to develop their rookies (Troy Brown Jr., Rui Hachimura, Thomas Bryant). I expect those three guys to do very well in fantasy over the next few seasons as the Wiz are in cap hell.
He's got fabulous physical tools to excel in the NBA and has improved every season, and his work ethic should hopefully continue that trend. He has the potential to be a mismatch nightmare, but as The Ringer notes, "Hachimura is a bit of a project for a lottery pick [...] and reads the floor on defense at Windows 98 speeds" and graded the pick a D. Others gave it an A. Even among front offices, he was a polarizing pick.
The upside is there, and the consistent furtherance of his skills (he started basketball at 14) year-over-year makes this a palatable risk/reward selection for me.
If there ever was a roaring endorsement, look to NBC, who boldly proclaimed that "he is one of the few prospects that Washington probably couldn't ruin."
B
11. Sekou Dembouya (Pelicans)
Untapped Athleticism
One of the most exciting, high-upside prospects somehow fell to the team with the best core in the league that's reached half the league's finals ever...
How does this even happen?
This is the type of rookie that rebuilding teams should be gobbling up, not letting fall to the guy who just reached the finals. Outstanding physical tools, a Pascal Siakam-comp, a quick first step, multi-positional defender potential, THICC frame, rebounds well, and is only 18.3 years old.
The last eurotrash youngster Pels scooped up was Jokic, and as the only Guru GM who actually lives in Europe, this makes me nervous.
Thankfully, there are some negatives. Questions about his maturity, poor handles, bad shooting mechanics, poor defensive fundamentals, and an inconsistent motor.
As New Orleans put it, he's a high risk, high reward pick. And he should be on someone else's team payroll. Like Drake.
A-
12. Jaxson Hayes (Bulls)
Rim Protection
Ah, the 2019 Guru Draft Review, or as it is better known, How The Suns Feel About The Bulls Picks.
Great pick at #12, and the fact he was #9 on most boards and went #8 in the NBA makes this a fantastic selection.
Hayes is an 7-foot center and while the spacing will be awkward with Zion in the frontcourt, they'll be the fastest and most athletic duo in the NBA, terrorizing teams in transition and on defense.
The situation is good, the pick is great, and the leaguewide consensus on Hayes makes this, pound-for-pound, the best selection at this spot.
Jaxson oozes upside, and if Bulls had nabbed Reddish/Hayes/Doumbouya instead of Reddish/Hayes/Clarke, he'd have completely crushed the draft in my mind.
As a noted philosopher and poet once put it:
"Two out of three ain't bad."
-Meatloaf
Truly the voice of a generation.
Jaxson Hayes is going to be a beast, and I love this pick more than Blazers loves binge-watching TV:
Great selection by the Bulls.
A+
13. Nickeil Alexander-Walker Augustus Octavian Caesar III, Esq. (Bucks)
This guy's name is longer than a CVS bill for a pack of gum.
Most boards had NAW in the 20s, and he went #17 in the NBA. He was drafted for shooting, as an ancillary piece to Zion, Jrue, Hayes, Lonzo, and Ingram.
You drafted PJ Tucker instead of PJ Washington.
This is a reach, and not only that, you reached for a boring, safe prospect with limited opportunity and upside whose job is going to be to sit in the corner and keep defenses honest, and shoot the occasional 3.
It's not a bad pick, but it's not a good one. For a team that desperately needs to be taking chances on high upside prospects, you fell into the same trap as Bulls on a few picks. If you have another pick in this draft I expect you'll take a 22 year old, 5-year senior with no upside.
Congrats on taking the safety school of draft picks, Alexander-Walker is the fucking Texas A&M of this class.
Dogshit.
D
14. PJ Washington (Bulls)
Scoring
Washington torches defenses like Denzel in Man on Fire, and shot a blistering 42% from 3 in college. Featuring a strong body, good passing and vision, and an ability to get buckets, this guy check a lot of boxes.
We're at the point in the draft, however, where you're taking players with more and more flaws. A lack of effort on defense, no first step, and playing below the rim present some downside.
Nevertheless, the Hornets should present some opportunities for serious playtime, especially if Kemba leaves. This was, in my estimation, the best pick left up on the board, and probably the last player I'd be comfortable picking besides Goga, so it's a smart selection.
He went 12th in the NBA and projected around 14th, so this is a nice spot to grab him. Combine that with a fantasy-friendly game and a good situation, and you've got yourself a hit.
Other things that guarantee a hit: Any song featuring DJ Khalid, backtalking Chris Brown.
B+
15. Goga Bitadze (Nuggets)
Two-way upside
I knew this fucker was going to snipe me at #15 when I had the #16 pick, and am incredibly happy I traded away the pick to him.
Goga was the last player on the board I would have been comfortable rostering. A lot of analysts had him 9th or 11th overall, and this is a steal.
There's no reason why Sekou or Goga should have fallen to these GMs.
On the surface, this situation looks bad, with a clogged rotation of young, talented bigs in Myles Turner, Domantas Sabonis, and Goga Bitadze, but
I expect the Pacers to sort the situation out sooner rather than later, and Goga is too talented to be contained.
He's a 6"11 bulldozer who can score on the inside, block shots, attack off the dribble, has a soft touch, great vision, is the best screener in the class,
and is a plus team defender with a high IQ.
The situation is butt, he has the lateral quickness of Kim Kardashian in a leather bodysuit. If he switches onto a guard in the Pick n' Roll, he'll look
like Nappa at the start of Dragonball Z.
Regardless, to get this much upside this late is excellent, and it hurts all the more that it goes to my archnemesis.
Damn you.
A